Tampa Tribune reporter Karla Jackson, the newspaper's children and families writer, gives you news you can use to raise your kids and run your household.

You can email your ideas, comments and questions to her. Just click here.

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If Mama Ain't Happy...

Some 85 percent of moms say they lose their cool once a day or more, according to a poll by Parenting.com. What's the one thing guaranteed to set them off?

Almost a third of respondents said "not getting enough assistance from my husband" sends them over the edge.

For 22 percent, it's bad behavior (the children's, we assume). Another 22 percent said "having too much to do in one day." Rounding out the list were a messy house (14 percent), too much noise (8 percent) and accidents (3 percent).

Watching scary movies and playing violent video games has a measurably negative influence on children and should be limited, says the American Medical Association, citing "an extensive body of research" on the subject.

Exposure to media violence can result in increasingly aggressive attitudes and behavior in children, the AMA contends.

Other effects noted include:

*Children accept violence as an effective way of settling conflicts.

*Children become emotionally desensitized to violence and are less likely to help someone in distress.

*Children develop an increased fear of becoming a victim and become more mistrustful as a result.

*Children are more likely to become violent and aggressive as adults.

For a look at the AMA's testimony to Congress, visit this site.

The holidays are fun for the whole family, but they are also a whole lot of work for Mom, according to a survey of more than 2,500 mothers by ClubMom, a national organization of mothers.

Nearly three-quarters of the moms surveyed (71 percent) said the holidays are stressful. The main reasons: the extra work, extra cost and extraordinary expectations.

Slightly more than half (52 percent) say their husbands pitch in with holiday duties, usually by cleaning or wrapping gifts. About 40 percent say their kids help out; 44 percent say their kids don't lift a finger.

ClubMom offers these tips to help mothers motivate their kids:

* Turn house cleaning into a relay race and assign each child a room to clean. Younger children may not be able to handle the whole task, but they can put away toys and clean up clutter. Offer a little reward for finishing first or doing the best job.

* Crank up the music. Get the kids singing along as they clean rooms or wrap gifts.

* Let your kids invite friends over to help with tasks such as decorating the yard or tree, baking cookies and such.

More than a third of the mothers surveyed (39 percent) said a simple "Thank you" from their families makes all the effort worthwhile. Some 36 percent said a day to themselves would be nice.

Sports Illustrated For Kids surveyed 1,000 kids to find out what makes a good youth-league coach. The results, published in the November issue, include:

* Ninety-five percent of the kids say the No. 1 quality they want in a coach is the ability to help them improve their skills. b Sixty-one percent think it's OK for coaches to yell instructions to players, but not to yell about mistakes.

*Nearly two-thirds, 62 percent, say coaches should provide equal playing time to all players despite their athletic ability. b Most kids, 64 percent, would rather play on a losing team for a coach they like than on a winning team for a coach they dislike. b When asked about a coach's personality, 33 percent say they prefer the easy-going type; 32 percent opt for a quiet planner who is good at strategy; 24 percent want a tough disciplinarian and 10 percent like an enthusiastic cheerleader. The remainder chose a combination of traits.

*Sixty percent say they do not want parents to advise the coach on how to run their team.

*When asked why they play organized sports, only 48 percent of respondents say winning is the reason, while 92 percent agree having fun is most important.

Sounds like the kids have their priorities straight.

Spider-Man will swing into action again on Halloween as the No. 1 costume in 2004, according to the National Retail Federation.

The super hero is the top choice among young boys, while girls are choosing traditional princess and witch garb. <>Adults are buying Shrek and Fiona. Of course, it's no surprise that George Bush and John Kerry masks are big sellers.

The the top 10 costumes for children are:
1. Spider-Man 2. Princess 3. Witch 4. Vampire 5. Monster 6. SpongeBob SquarePants 7. Ninja 8. Athlete 9. Ghost 10. Power Rangers

For those who prefer to make a costume, get some great ideas at www.kidsturncentral.com, www.robinsfyi.com and www.costumeideazone.com. Some suggestions: Chia Pet, American tourist, a bag of jelly beans, dirty laundry, gum-ball machine, Rubik's Cube.

I don't know about you, but the thrill of the new school year has worn off at my house. Now were back to nightly nagging about homework. Apparently, I'm not alone.

In a Harris poll of 8 to 12-year-olds published recently in The Washington Post, when asked "How often do your parents have to remind you to do your homework?"

*15 percent said "Never." (Brainiacs.)

*35 percent said "Sometimes."

*18 percent said "Usually."

*32 percent said "All the time."

What I dread the most is the math homework. My son knows not to even ask me for help. Fortunately, there is the Education Channel's "Math Homework Hotline."

The hot line is a live television show featuring local teachers solving math problems phoned in by struggling students. Instructors will tackle any type of math problem, from kindergarten to college level.

It airs Wednesdays from 5 to 6 p.m. on Time-Warner channel 18. A phone bank of teachers is also on call Tuesdays and Thursdays to answer questions. To reach the Math Homework Hotline, call (813) 254-2253. Answers to the most frequently asked questions are available at the Web site www.mathhomeworkhotline.com.

I'd love to hear how you motivate your kids to do their homework. E-mail me at the link below and I'll post the responses at a later date.

One out of every five children in the United States has an immigrant parent, and many of these children do not speak English at home.

A new report released this week by the The David and Lucile Packard Foundation suggests that when immigrant parents have limited English skills, they cannot help with homework, encourage their children to be involved in after-school activities, get involved in the PTA, understand how to apply for health insurance or help fill out a college application.

A total of 18 percent of U.S. children speak a language other than English at home. That number rises to 72 percent of children in immigrant families. Twenty-six percent of children of immigrants live in households where no one age 14 or older has a strong command of the English language.

Cited in the latest issue of The Future of Children, the report recommends schools and community-based organizations work to provide parent support groups and family literacy programs.

A side note: immigrant children often are in better health than their native peers. Children born to immigrant mothers have fewer incidents of low birth weight and lower infant mortality rates than children born to native-born mothers. Children of immigrants also have lower rates of asthma and obesity, according to the report.

According to a poll by Parenting.com, 85 percent of moms say they lose their cool once a day or more. What's the one thing guaranteed to set them off?

Almost a third of respondents said "not getting enough assistance from my husband" sends them over the edge most often.

For 22 percent, it's bad behavior (the children's, we assume). Another 22 percent said "having too much to do in one day."

Rounding out the list were a messy house (14 percent), too much noise (8 percent) and accidents (3 percent).

According to a poll by Parenting.com, 85 percent of moms say they lose their cool once a day or more. What's the one thing guaranteed to set them off?

Almost a third of respondents said "not getting enough assistance from my husband" sends them over the edge most often.

For 22 percent, it's bad behavior (the children's, we assume). Another 22 percent said "having too much to do in one day."

Rounding out the list were a messy house (14 percent), too much noise (8 percent) and accidents (3 percent).

I saved some money on back-to-school supplies by following some advice in the August issue of Parents magazine.

Before heading to the store, shop around your house first for leftovers you may have purchased the previous school year, the magazine advised.

Buried amid the debris in my son's room, I found a two reams of notebook paper, several highlighters, an assortment of sprial notebooks and enough pencils to equip the entire sixth grade.

I've learned from experience not to rush out and buy everything on the supply list right away. Some teachers don't use many of the items on the generic, schoolwide lists. I sent my son with the basics (notebook, paper, pencils) for the first few days until I got a list of specific supplies from his teachers.

I usually spend close to $50 on school supplies; I spent less than $30 this year.

The magazine also polled teachers on the most annoying things parents do, including:

* Criticizing them in front of the kids.

* Speaking to them in the same way they speak to their children.

* Sending their child to school sick.

* Not reading memos or sign permission slips.

* Sending their child to school without requested supplies.

* Asking how their child compares with other kids in the class.

* Going to the principal with a problem rather than discussing it with the teacher first.

When is the best time to talk to your kids so they will listen? During your commute to work and school, parents say.

Two-thirds of parents surveyed for the Chrysler Group by Harris Interactive named the family vehicle as a convenient place to have meaningful conversations with their children about school, friends and values.

The survey also found that nearly 70 percent of parents spend most of their time with their children outside the home in the family vehicle, and that families spent an average of 1.3 hours in the car every day.

Topics discussed on the road include extracurricular activities, chores and lifestyle or health issues, such as drugs and sex.
Related story
-- Karla Jackson

According to a recent poll by Parenting magazine and America Online, four out of five moms said that when their children cry at night, they're the ones who get up to comfort them. Only 15 percent share duties with Dad.

Among other findings:

*Only 16 percent of moms get the eight hours of sleep they need to feel refreshed. More than half get six hours or less.

*Twenty-two percent let their kids stay up late when Daddy isn't home.

*The top four stalling tactics for kids when they don't want to go to bed: asking for a glass of water, asking for another story, complaining that the room is too dark or too light, and begging for another bathroom trip.

A story from the Miami Herald on confirms that I'm not the only one confounded by expensive and complicated child care arrangements during summer break, which, by the way, is nearly over here in the Bay area.

"...the Urban Institute study found the expenses of middle-income and higher-income families rise 34 percent in summer. Low-income families are more likely to be relying on relatives during the summer or on self-care. Overall, the amount of time children 10 years and older spend in self-care more than doubles in summer."

"Not only must working parents piece together child care for the length of the summer (having one camp one week, a vacation and then another camp), some must also patch together each day. That could mean using one sort of arrangement during the morning and another for the afternoon."

Sounds familiar. Check out the full report by clicking here.

And for the record: School resumes Aug. 5 in Hillsborough and Polk counties; Aug. 3 in Pinellas and Aug. 9 in Pasco.

An estimated 40 million families will be moving households this summer. Parenting magazine recommends these tips for making sure your family is as ready as your belongings:

Break the news as soon as possible. Even if the move is months away, it's best to tell children in case they overhear grown-ups talking about it and jump to wrong conclusions.

Dismantle with care. Kids love their stuff, no matter the condition. So, when everyone is out, trash the broken toys and bottle caps that you don't want to pack. Children thrive on familiarity, so pack their room last.

Saying goodbye. Give kids steps, like walking around the block and saying goodbye to everyone you know. Also, give them a disposable camera so they can take photos of special neighborhood places.

Be as festive as possible. Take as many objects the kids absolutely love in the car.

Put the kids" room together first. Also, let them help decorate. Make friends with other parents as soon as possible.

Got a car trip planned with the kids? They might not want to spend it reading, but they can still listen to a couple good books on tape (or CD).

"Misty of Chincoteague" by Marguerite Henry.

What it's about: A brother and sister try to buy "the phantom," the pony no one has been able to capture. How long: 3 hours 15 minutes

"Shiloh" by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor.

What it's about: Shiloh the beagle is taken in by a boy, who keeps the dog a secret from his family and the dog's mean owner.

How long: About 1 1/2 hours.

"Anastasia Krupnik" by Lois Lowry.

What it's about: Anastasia Krupnik has a lot on her plate: a boy she likes, a soon-to-be baby brother and her terrible name.

How long: 2 1/2 hours.

Regal Cinemas is teaming up with Discovery Kids to present Regal’s annual Free Family Film Festival running throughout the summer at more than 240 movie theatres nationwide. The films will include re-released classic G- and PG-rated family films from the cable channel.

In addition, a special, never-before-seen five-minute animated short shown before each movie in this year’s Festival features Kenny the Shark and Tutenstein, Discovery Kids’ hit animated series.

Screenings of all movies begin at 10AM each Tuesday and Wednesday during the festival season, which continues through the end of August. Seating is limited on a first-come basis. Movie schedules can be found at the at the Regal Cinemas Web site.

Local theaters participating in the showings include:

Citrus Stadium 20
7999 Citrus Park Town Center Mall
Tampa, FL 33625
Phone: 813-920-0835

Largo 8
10500 Ulmerton Road East
Largo, FL 33771
Phone: 727-581-5199

Hollywood 18
6701 Cinema Drive (34668)
Port Richey, FL 34668
Phone: 727-862-9490

Oakmont 8
4801 Cortez Road W
Bradenton, FL 34210
Phone: 941-954-5768

Outdoor play time is down. Physical education in schools has been cut back. Childhood obesity is up.

What kids need in their lives, the makers of Wisk laundry detergent say, is more dirt.

The mission of the company's "America Needs Dirt" is to encourage kids to get outdoors, play hard, get dirty and have fun.

""Research shows that Americans now spend more than 90 percent of their lives indoors,'' the company said in a press release. "By simply bringing dirt back into children's lives and allowing them to play outside, parents provide a basic and cost-free solution to the problems associated with inactivity such as obesity and stress."

To get the word out, Wisk started a Web site, America Needs Dirt, which offers tips on outdoor games kids can play and local events that promote outdoor sports.<

Local communities also can participate in the "Wisk Win a Dream Field" Contest. The grand prize winner will receive a local field makeover, complete with new equipment and a visit from Cal Ripken Jr. For contest details, go to the America Needs Dirt Web site.

It's common for kids around age 6 to start squirming away from parental embraces, avoid holding hands and coolly wave goodbye. But as hard as it is for parents who feel pushed away, they shouldn't take it personally.

"Because you've given her a nurturing environment over the years, she now has the confidence to become more independent," adolescent psychiatrist Sucheta Connolly tells Parents magazine in the July issue.

If your child shuns kisses and hugs, try these options: *Use a secret sign or handshake.

*Give him a thumbs-up or a high five.

*Call her by a special pet name (privately).

*Leave a note in his lunch box or on his pillow.

*Indulge in playful wrestling, tickling or hair tousling.

Give your daughter a manicure.

Ignoring old wives tales is easier when you have the facts on your side. For practical, research-based information on children and families, visit Cyfernet.

It's getting hot out there. Be sure the kids have enough water to deal with the heat when they're playing outside or competing in sports.

That's the message from the American College of Sports Medicine, which at its annual meeting this week revealed that two-thirds of children arrived at sports practice significantly dehydrated. They remained so, even though water or other fluids were available to them during practices.

Dehydration increases their risk for such additional heat illnesses as heat exhaustion and heat stroke.

The study was part of the group's Defeat the Heat public safety campaign.

And although children are more susceptible to dehydration and heat illness than adults, a separate study revealed that more than 75 percent of parents of children between the ages of 8 and 14 are unaware of how to prevent dehydration in their children.

To battle that fact, Defeat the Heat created the “ABCs” of hydration:

*Always drink before, during and after activity to replace what you’ve lost through sweat.

*Bring the right fluids. Research shows sports drinks hydrate best.

*Consider fluids as part of the essential safety equipment for sports.

How do you find time for yourself amid your family's hectic schedule? Try these suggestions from Tracy Lyn Moland's book, Mom Management:

1. Start small. It's OK to start with one activity a week or just a few minutes a day.

2. Book an appointment with yourself on your calendar, the same way you pencil in a haircut or dentist appointment.

3. Get up before the kids and spend the quiet time sipping coffee, reading or meditating.

4. Grab seconds whenever you can. Carry a book, magazine, journal or favorite craft with you so you can transform waiting time into ""me'' time.

5. Find a ""Mom's Day Out'' program at an area church or preschool. These weekly sessions are reasonably priced and a lifesaver for many moms.

6. Sign up for a college class or pursue a hobby that gets you out of the house regularly.

7. Trade child care with a friend or neighbor. This way, you will both get some time off.

8. Make a deal with your husband that you'll each have one evening a week to do your own thing.

9. When running errands alone, stop for a coffee. No one will notice the extra 15 minutes.

10. Take a book into the kitchen with you and tell everyone you're cleaning. Read first.

11. Exercise at a fitness center that provides child care.

12. Take advantage of parks, playgrounds and restaurants with play areas. Meet a friend and chat while the kids play.

13. Train your family to respect your quiet time, whenever it is.

14. Every so often, try a Big Escape. Head off on a girlfriends-only trip, or ask your husband to take the kids camping so you can have the house to yourself.

Talking about sex should not be a single conversation that occurs at a particular age, but an ongoing discussion with your child, says Gregory Ramey, a child psychologist and vice president for outpatient services at Children's Medical Center of Dayton.

In the preschool years: Talk with your child about privacy, good and bad touches and differences between boys and girls. At that early age, discussions should be specific and concrete. Avoid giving too much information. Be guided by your child's questions.

In early school years: It is best to use naturally occurring events to prompt discussion about age-appropriate topics. Don't pressure your child to talk, but be sure to respond when he or she does.

During puberty: Most parents think of having ""the conversation'' when their child begins to develop physically. It's important that your child understand the changes that are occurring with his or her body. Many helpful books are available at bookstores and libraries to help parents find tactful ways to address the topic without embarrassment.

Children learn during these conversations whether their parents are approachable, not only to talk about sex, but any difficult topic. Even if you stumble through it, your children will get the point that it is important to you. And the next conversation will be easier.

Many activities kids engage in during summer vacation are dangerous enough to lead to a visit to the doctor or emergency room.

The summer sports that lead the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission for kids ages 5 to 14 are: bicycling (635,561 injuries), basketball (547,491), football (486,000), baseball/softball(285,700) and soccer (197,622).

The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons recommends children follow these injury prevention guidelines:

* Know and abide by the rules of the sport.

* Wear appropriate protective gear (i.e., shin guards for soccer, a hard-shell helmet when facing a baseball pitcher, a helmet for bike riding).

* Check equipment first and know how to use athletic equipment (i.e., breakaway bases have proven to be effective in dramatically reducing leg injuries in children).

* Always warm up before playing.

* Avoid playing when very tired or in pain.

For more sports safety tips, contact the academy's public service line at (800) 824-BONES or visit the Prevent Injuries American section of the academy's Web site.

Carmella Soprano, Marge Simpson and Sharon Osbourne are the TV moms who most remind Americans of their own mamas, according to a poll by Netflix, the online movie rental service.

Carmella Soprano took the most votes, with 33 percent saying she most resembled their mother. Florence Henderson - Carol Brady from "The Brady Bunch" - won only 8 percent of the vote.

High school -- with its caste system, status-seeking and unique fashions -- can seem fairly bizarre to adults.

But teenagers aren't crazy. There is method in that apparent madness.

Their behavior is a function of the high school social system in which they spend most of their time, Murray Milner Jr., a retired University of Virginia sociologist, recently told the Richmond Times-Dispatch. Milner's new book "Freaks, Geeks and Cool Kids -- American Teenagers, Schools and the Culture of Consumption," will be available at bookstores in the coming weeks.

The book is not for the casual reader, but it theorizes in fascinating sociological terms why many teenagers act the exasperating way they do.

Milner spent several years studying the American high school culture around the country.

Milner finds parallels in how high school groups -- which adults do not penetrate -- determine and maintain status and social stratification.

"Why are teenagers frequently mean and even cruel to one another?" Milner asks in the book.

Milner thinks teenagers have so little real power in high school, both economic and political, that they turn to the only power they can wield in their insular world -- determining who's cool and who's not.

"They have to be in school. They can't choose their school. They can't change the administrators. They can't change the curriculum," Milner said.

"They must attend school for most of the day and they have only very limited influence on what happens there. . . . They do, however, have one crucial kind of power: the power to create an informal social world in which they evaluate each other. That is, they can and do create their own status systems -- usually based on criteria that are quite different from those promoted by parents or teachers. In short, the main kind of power teenagers have is status power."

Boys spend twice as much time playing video games as girls, but the gap is expected to close as more games are designed with girls' preferences in mind, a survey by Michigan State University found.

The survey of more than 1,000 fifth-, eighth- and 11th-graders, and university students in Michigan and Indiana was conducted in 2003. Among the findings:

* Eighth-graders lead the way in time spent playing games, with boys averaging 23 hours a week and girls 12 hours.

* Females prefer classic board games, card-dice games, quiz-trivia games, arcade games and puzzle games.

* Males prefer fighters, shooters, sports, fantasy role-playing games, action adventure games and strategy games.

Ever wonder what your child does with the lunch you lovingly pack every weekday morning?

They trash it, according to a survey of 1,000 mothers and 1,000 kids 8- to 12-years old sponsored by Oscar Mayer Lunchables.

Nearly three-quarters (73 percent) of the kids reported throwing away all or part of their lunches; 36 percent reported trading it for stuff like candy (16 percent) or chips. (16 percent)

Forty percent preferred school lunches to lunches from home.

You always suspected, didn't you?

In what may be an example of poll results confirming what parents already know: A Gallup Poll on Tuesday found American teens are not getting enough exercise.

the Gallup Youth Survey shows that while teens report fairly high levels of exercise, a significant proportion are not getting their fair share.

Nearly a quarter (23 percent) say they participate in vigorous sports or physical activities less than once a week.

As for moderate exercise, 16 percent of teens report doing so less than once a week.

Think your kids are safe in the pool just because you or someone else is watching them? Maybe not.

Research released today by the National SAFE KIDS Campaign and Johnson & Johnson shows 88 percent of children who drowned were under the supervision of another person, usually a family member.

Supervision was defined as being in the care of another individual, not necessarily in their direct line of sight.

The study also found many pools are not fenced adequately. The use of personal flotation devices also is insufficient.

Other survey findings:

* Many tweens (kids aged 8 to 12) admit they never wear a life jacket when riding on a personal watercraft (50 percent), participating in water sports (37 percent) or on a boat (16 percent).

* One in five parents (19 percent) mistakenly believes that air-filled water wings can protect their child from drowning.

* Nearly three-quarters (74 percent) of drowning victims studied did not know how to swim.

* Seventy-three percent of victims ages five to nine and 30 percent of victims ages 10 to 14 were non-swimmers.

* Although the majority of parents agree that all children should have swimming instruction by the age of 8, 37 percent of parents report that their child has never taken lessons.

For more information, or to get a copy of the report, go to the SAFE KIDS Web site.

Can it really be 25 years that the Happy Meal has been around? That's a quarter-century of petrified French fries and miniature toys disappearing under the backseat.

McDonalds announced today that it will mark the anniversary with a meals that will feature such sports figures as NBA star Vince Carter, tennis phenoms Venus and Serena Williams, skateboard messiah Tony Hawk, NFL superstar Michael Vick, women's soccer pioneer Mia Hamm and NASCAR champion Tony Stewart.

Coincidentally, it's also the 25th anniversary of ESPN. So McDonalds is pairing with the sports network to feature six ESPN25 inspired mini-handheld sports action video games in its Happy Birthday Happy Meal and Mighty Kids meal.

To launch the ESPN Happy Meal, an eBay auction with autographed items from several of the Happy Meal superstars will run through May 6. All benefits from the auction will be donated to Ronald McDonald House Charities. To participate in the Ronald McDonald House Charities auction, visit the eBay site.

Given the choice, would you want a boy or a girl? Be honest.

Gallup pollsters asked 1,003 people last summer: "If you could only have one child, what gender would you prefer?"

Thirty-eight percent said they would rather have a boy, 28 percent said they wanted a girl; 27 percent declared either was fine.

Interestingly, the 2003 findings are very similar to those from 1941 when the poll first was taken.

Back then, 38 percent preferred a boy, 24 percent wanted a girl and 23 said it did not matter.

To see more for yourself, visit the Gallup site and search for "children and gender."

Something useful: For a decent guide to family events, entertainment and resources in the Bay area, visit Tampa Bay Kids Net.

"OK," I hear you asking, "who are you and why should I care what you have to say about raising a family here in the Tampa Bay area?"

Fair question. I am nobody special.

I have a husband, son, pets and a mortgage, just like many of the 255,222 families who are lucky enough to live here.

I'm your typical suburban working mom, with a child in public school, a husband who coaches Little League and an elderly parent who relies on me.

I am certainly no expert on harmonious family life, as those close to me will attest.

I do have the good fortune - through my job as the children and families writer for The Tampa Tribune - to have access to the latest news, research and expert opinions on nearly anything you can image that relates to raising a family. We're talking about virtually anything from potty training to puberty and beyond.

That doesn't make me an expert. Far from it. The deluge of advice and information often serves only to make me feel confused and inadequate. Nevertheless, I am willing to share this mother load of "wisdom" for your consideration. Adopt or reject these pearls as you see fit.

And by all means, please let me know what you think of what I've posted. I look forward to it.