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Fennelly: Choice for next coach puts pressure on Glazers

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Published:   |   Updated: December 31, 2013 at 11:26 AM

TAMPA — Parcells is out, right?

So, I’ve got this great idea for the Glazers: You need to go get a coach who has won before in the NFL, who has won a Super Bowl, someone beloved in this town, who by his very character and, yes, quiet strength, commands players’ respect and …

Oh, right. You fired that guy.

Or there’s this: You need to go get a coach who has won before in the NFL, who has won a Super Bowl — a fireball, a motivator, a closer, an offense guy, someone to lead his guys …

Oh, right. Fired him, too.

In a flood of fall-down-laughing irony, Tony Dungy and Jon Gruden, annually the two most cherished NFL head coaching candidates, guys who live within like 196 feet from Bucs Central, might as well live on Mars.

It’s on the Glazers now.

And forget that offensive coordinator in Cincinnati.

Yeah, Jay Gruden has everything — except right last name.

It’s on the Glazers now.

If you don’t believe it, count up the number of NFL head coaching offers Greg Schiano gets after this and add it to how many NFL head coaching offers Raheem Morris received.

What’s a billionaire family to do?

True, this Bucs job is more attractive than the last time it was open. Money has been spent, there’s more talent.

But the G Men are 0-2 at their last two head coaches, 2-2 overall — though was that Malcolm making the call on Dungy and Gruden, leaving the boys 0-2?

True, they tried to close the deal on Chip Kelly, but didn’t.

Monday, Schiano and dismissed general manager Mark Dominik exited with much class after the axe fell.

It’s on the Glazers now.

They’ve fired three head coaches inside of five years. If the Bucs aren’t careful, they’re going to wake up one morning and be the Oakland Raiders. They’re close enough as it is.

This is a critical, pivotal moment in Bucs history, in Glazer history, up there with the day Malcolm decided there was more to this big blue marble than selling watch parts.

The clock is ticking.

It’s on the Glazers now.

They can’t miss on this one.

This one has to be a keeper.

The Fantasy Guy in me says make coaching Mahatma Bill Belichick an offer he can’t refuse: a lifetime contract, plus adoption proceedings to make him an actual Glazer brother … Bill, it’s cool, we’ll just squeeze Ed out …

Wait a minute, wasn’t Belichick the guy who the Glazers talked with before their last coaching hire? The Glazers got Schiano and now there’s LeGarrette Blount, running for big yards the other day, with his arms around Tom Brady. Don’t get in a room with Mr. Bill again, G Men. The lights will go out, and when they come back on Lavonte David will be in a Patriots uniform.

I’m not really that big on getting the band back together, the old days, the old names, though the idea of Derrick Brooks in the front office is nice, as is reaching out to former Buccaneer men Jerry Angelo and Tim Ruskell, who were part of winners here and who helped construct Super Bowl teams as general managers in Chicago and Seattle, respectively.

There’s also former Belichick sidekick Scott Pioli, who before he was sacked in Kansas City brought in a lot of the talent that has the Chiefs in the playoffs next week.

Lovie Smith is an obvious coaching candidate — part of Dungy’s star-studded Bucs defensive staff, later pretty good in Chicago, where he led the Bears to the Super Bowl, would help the Bucs build bridges back to the fan base. A familiar face, a stand-up guy, much like Dungy.

But any Lovie hire would have to come with assurances that he always remember to bring an offense to work, something he sometimes forgot in Chicago, just like Tony did here at times.

I wouldn’t rule out someone without NFL head coaching experience, offensive minds, like Seahawks offensive coordinator Darrell Bevel or 49ers offensive coordinator Greg Roman. I wouldn’t rule out making a late play for Bill O’Brien, or some other return to the college ranks, maybe touch base with Stanford coach David Shaw, who runs a pro style offense and looks to be Can’t Miss. Shaw insists he’s staying at Stanford. He’s still worth a try.

Everyone, and everything, should be on the table.

Except Tony, and Chucky.

It’s on the Glazers now.

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