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Friday, Oct 24, 2014
Movies

‘November Man’ is a tired, bland Bond


Published:   |   Updated: August 28, 2014 at 09:27 AM

Pierce Brosnan’s perfect hair barely budges in the breeze. He fixes his eyes in that narrowed, steely stare, and you remember, yes, he was a pretty good James Bond.

But he’s not Bond, not at 61. He’s this fellow named Devereaux, and back in the day, when he showed up for an assignment it was like winter had hit. Everything was dead. That’s why they called Devereaux “The November Man.” The movie opens today in theaters.

Here’s a humorless, muddled, bloody and generally unpleasant thriller about an ex-agent sucked back into The Business because somebody needs his help. Or somebody knows something. Or some protégé has gone stone cold killer.

That’s one of the problems with this Roger “No Way Out” Donaldson film. It leaves us with no clear sense of whom to root for, or what. Is the CIA out to get Devereaux and his lady friend? The Russians? Some rogue amalgam of the two?

About all we’re sure of is that the body count, tallied with bullets and sharp bloody blades, piles up — first scene to last.

Devereaux trained Mason, played by Luke Bracey of the last “G.I. Joe” movie. They’re experts on “threat analysis” and how to put a bullet in that threat. Years later, Devereaux is summoned by the old boss (Bill Smitrovich) to fetch a woman out of Russia. Things go haywire in fetching the woman and in the movie as triggers are pulled too quickly and Devereaux shoots all manner of folk. Mason is after him. Spirited chases through Moscow give one a whole new appreciation for the place.

Eventually, teacher and student and quarry (Olga Kurylenko) and CIA hunters (Will Patton, Caterina Scorsone) and a Russian ponytailed ballerina-turned-assassin (Amila Terzimehic) all wind up in Belgrade.

This late August castoff is what one can easily spy as a “producers-on-the-make” movie. It has the obligatory strip-club scene. It has a spirited nude sex scene. And in every shot, we see the best-looking extras this side of “America’s Next Top Model.”

Through it all, in between Kurylenko’s sexy costume changes and the sometimes visits of Alexa, the unusually flexible killer (Terzimehic) and flat afterthought of a performance by Bracey, Brosnan keeps his cool and delivers his lines as an older if not over-the-hill James Bond type. “You feel the need for a relationship,” he growls, “get a dog.”

But a few pithy lines, seriously stunt-doubled fights and the odd blast of blood don’t give the story clarity or the characters a compelling reason for us to engage in their dilemma. That makes “November Man” another sad refugee of August, the dumping ground of movies that don’t quite move anybody.

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