Almost as predictably as the decennial census, every decade or so the politically correct police (PCP) aim their sights on the Washington Redskins, for what they view as the team’s racist name.
Although the intended meaning of an individual’s usage of a word, and how it is interpreted by those who hear it is subjective, Smithsonian Institution senior linguist Ives Goddard has concluded that the term “redskin” was first used by Native Americans in the 18th century to distinguish themselves from whites.
Former Redskins owner Jack Kent Cooke said, “I admire the Redskins name. I think it stands for bravery, courage, and a stalwart spirit, and I see no reason why we shouldn’t continue to use it.”
Daniel Snyder, who is the current owner of the National Football League team, has said he will never change the name because “what it means is tradition, what it means is competitiveness, what it means is honor.” Adding, “It is not meant to be derogatory.”
But facts about the origins of the word, or the intent of owners current or past, are not relevant to the PCP.
But why should they stop there?
In an effort to help them with their efforts to make the world as politically correct as possible, I have compiled the following short list of other team names that should be changed. Like the Redskins team name controversy, these are based on ignorance of facts and renaming any of the following would do nothing to actually make the world a better place.
This being Tampa, we should start with the Buccaneers. A Buccaneer, of course, is akin to a pirate. Pirates rape, rob and plunder. These are bad people, and they are extremely dangerous and threatening. The Bucs should rename the “pro-violence” name they have and change it to one that would more adequately reflect the team when it is on the field. I suggest the Tampa Bay Poodles.
Next, the PCP should demand the New Orleans Saints be renamed. The fact that the NFL has allowed one of its teams to invoke religion into its name is an insult to the 717 atheists in this country who are also NFL football fans. I suggest they be renamed the New Orleans Voodoo Dolls as a good-faith gesture to help those with odd or no religious beliefs feel better about themselves.
The New England Patriots have perhaps the most racially insensitive name in all of professional sports. The origin of the team name is based on those who fought the British crown and gave America its independence. If you’re to believe today’s history books (as written by the PCP), these were bad men who were mostly white, wealthy and slave-holders who used mob violence to get their way. I suggest updating the name to reflect what they more closely resemble in today’s fight against another tyrannical government. They should be called the New England Tea Partiers.
The Dallas Cowboys haven’t had a season over .500 since 2009, but that hasn’t stopped them from still being referred to as “America’s Team,” (thus proving facts don’t matter to either side in these naming debates). But the PCP shouldn’t focus on that inaccuracy. Rather, they should hone in on the psychological damage by the team’s un-inclusive name to 51 percent of the U.S. population: females. I suggest solving this problem by renaming the team the “Dallas Cowpersons.” One thing, for sure: If team owner Jerry Jones thought it would make him another $100 million, he’d change the name in a New York minute.
On the college side of things, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish have to be at the top of the list of the PCP.
The school’s mascot is a short and squat, partially-balding white man wearing a green uniform that includes a hat with a green clover on it. The man has a snarl on his face and is in an offensive posture with both hands raised as though he’s ready to punch someone in the nose for spilling his whiskey. The only thing missing from this stereotypical Irishman is he’s not passed out drunk in an alleyway clutching a box of empty Lucky Charms in one hand, and a bar of Irish Spring soap in the other.
The Notre Dame mascot is so offensive, I don’t even know how to begin to come up with a more acceptable alternative.
Seriously, this whole politically correct thing has gone too far. Does anybody actually think changing the Redskins’ name is going to help solve any of the social ills (such as illiteracy, poverty and alcoholism) among Native American people. It won’t. Solving ills requires long-term commitment and years of effort. Liberal do-gooders and politicians from both parties prefer Band-Aid approaches because they’re easier, cheaper (sometimes), and they get people fired up. But at the end of the day, they do little to fix anything.
As for the Redskins, if the team name is to be changed, I would recommend the Washington Big Government Bureaucrats so as to reflect the biggest threat to our country. But I hope they stay the Redskins.
As for the Politically Correct Police, if any of them own Jeep Cherokees, they better sell their car, because it might be offensive to the Sioux tribe.
Chris Ingram is a Republican political consultant and analyst for Bay News 9. Follow him on Twitter at: @IrreverentView.