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Wednesday, Nov 26, 2014
Steve Otto Columns

Otto: Grilling with the governor in the holidays

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Tribune reporter James Rosica reported from Tallahassee this week that Gov. Rick Scott and his wife, Ann, are planning to release a cookbook, with the proceeds going to benefit the Governor’s Mansion Foundation.

The governor’s office wouldn’t release much more information about the cookbook itself, which I would expect to be ready in time for the holidays.

Fortunately, one of my sources in Tallahassee did manage to get a rough draft of several of the recipes the governor is said to have created. I wasn’t able to get any of the directions or the ingredients, but there are some general descriptions of the dishes that are actually served in the mansion on special occasions. Here are a few of the favorites:

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“BILL NELSON WAFFLES”...The governor is said to serve these the mornings after reading the latest projections on who will be in the race for his job next year.

“CHARLIE CRIST TURNOVERS”... Scott says what’s great about his turnovers are you never know what’s going to be in them. Scott likes to serve them to guests who never know what they’re going to get.

“NAN RICH PUFF PASTRY”... The governor is particularly fond of these puff pastries, named after the longtime Florida legislator who has been trying without luck to get some interest in her gubernatorial campaign.

“ALEX SINK HOUSEWARMING COOKIES”... The governor was so happy to see this former challenger head off for a run at a congressional seat in the House he came up with his own recipe for home-baked cookies.

“BULLET TRAIN SQUASH” ... We were unable to get much information about this old family recipe except that it is said to be one of his comfort foods when he is feeling low and out of sorts. One member of the mansion staff claims to have heard the governor yelling “Take that!” over and over as he jabbed a fork into the squash casserole.

“MEDIA HASH” ... The governor is said to not really like hash. In fact, he only makes it at the beginning of political campaigns, dumps hot sauce on top of the mixture and then puts it in the refrigerator and ignores it until after the election.

“LT. GOV. DUMP CAKE” ... The governor apparently only made this cake once, tossing it out while it was still edible but saying he really didn’t need any more cake.

“$100 MILLION DOLLAR PIE” ... Said to be a variation of the old standard Million Dollar Pie, the governor says it’s expensive to make but guaranteed to come out a winner in any contest.

“TALLY JELL-O RING MOLD” ... Named after his beloved Legislature, Scott prefers yellow Jell-O and says that to make it more authentic you need to sprinkle it with nuts.

“TEA PARTY PUNCH” ... The governor says the concoction is a little hard to swallow and you wake up in the morning feeling guilty.

The governor’s office had no other information about the cookbook, other than to say 6,000 jobs were created by the book.

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