Chances are, you haven't heard all 41 of the acts playing the three-day Big Guava Music Festival. But who has time for all that Googling?
That's why we've compiled this list of every single band that will be there, summed up in one neat, little sentence each. Now you'll know when to be in the front row, and when to head for the food trucks.
Outkast — The greatest rap duo of all time takes a 20th anniversary victory lap (or cash grab, if you want to be cynical about it), and everyone's wondering if Andre 3000 is fully on board.
Vampire Weekend — The musical equivalent of a Wes Anderson movie — parodying a preppy, privileged aesthetic while celebrating it at the same time.
Foster the People —“Pumped Up Kicks” aside, these guys are earworm hook machines, which makes perfect sense for a band fronted by a guy who was literally writing jingles for Honey Bunches of Oats four years ago.
Slightly Stoopid — Like Sublime's younger, less mischievous, but no-less-stoned brother.
Cake — The kings of geek rock flourished in the irony-drenched 90s, but will earnest millenials jam to “The Distance?”
Tegan and Sara —Twin sisters who quietly made really kooky indie pop for a decade before finding their inner Cyndi Lauper and breaking through with radio hit “Closer.”
Violent Femmes —Their perfect, self-titled, acousti-punk masterpiece was released in 1983, but sounds like it could have came out in 1963, 1993 or 2023.
Girl Talk — The mashup master will answer the age old question, What does Radiohead + Old Dirty Bastard + Alicia Keys + Black Sabbath sound like?
Sleigh Bells — You know NOTHING about this loud, guitar thrashing/angelic singing noise-pop duo until you've seen electrifying frontwoman Alexis Kraus blow the roof off live.
Earl Sweatshirt — The most intriguing member of the Odd Future rap collective is the son of a South African poet laureate and the bloodline shows.
Grouplove — A group of artists meet at an artist colony in Greece, fall madly in love with each other and start a blissed-out, hippie-fied rock band.
Haim —Forget Daft Punk or Robin Thicke, the real song of the summer 2013 was “The Wire” by three captivating sisters from L.A., who are the must-see of the Big Guava.
Twenty One Pilots —Rap for people who hate rap.
Jason Bonham's Led Zeppelin Experience —Bonzo's son plays with the greatest Zep tribute band on earth.
Chance the Rapper —The Chicago rapper's free mixtape “Acid Rap” was so fantastic that people started paying for it, causing it to briefly chart on Billboard last August.
Walk the Moon — These guys are so into their 80s vibe they named their band after a song by The Police.
Jake Miller —Rap for people who are teenaged girls.
Blue October — I'm in a glass case of emotion! (and guyliner).
Band of Skulls — Hard and heavy guitar riffage that's still cool enough for hipsters.
ZZ Ward — The only thing this multi-talented, blue-eyed soul singer loves more than hip-hop collabos are her seemingly millions of fedoras.
MS MR — This is exactly what you'd expect two Vassar grades who formed an experimental electro pop duo that releases music via Tumblr to sound like.
Timeflies —Rap for people who prefer Top 40/EDM.
Hoodie Allen — Rap for people who remember when hip hop was a whole lot of fun.
American Authors —Pandora says that if I liked this, I would also like One Republic, Imagine Dragons and Bastille.
St. Lucia — Oh so breezy synthpop from Brooklyn by way of South Africa musician Jean-Philip Grobler that makes you want to dance-walk down a sun-warmed sidewalk.
Civil Twilight — Oh so serious contemporary rock that's epic in that Muse/U2/Coldplay sort of way (plus, piano).
Smallpools — This is a genre I like to call Passion Pit.
Bear Hands — These funny dudes were classmates with MGMT at Wesleyan, AKA Indie Rock University, and put out the probably most underrated album of 2014 so far.
Morning Parade — Sounds like a “Twilight” soundtrack.
Kitten — Booming beats, breathy voice and a charismatic, 18-year-old frontwoman who works the stage like the love child of Iggy Pop and Madonna.
Magic Man — We're getting to that point in the lineup where I need Google as much as you do.
Nonono — Their big hit with the catchy hook was on “Glee” last week.
Jacuzzi Boys — Sounds like the weirdest beach party you've ever been to.
Gringo Star — Atlanta garage rockers that channel a bit of the 60s vibe their awesome name hints at.
Unlikely Candidates —Sounds like if Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco had a baby (which is practically incest anyway).
Vic Mensa —Part of the exceptional group of atypical young rappers out of Chi-town (see Chance the Rapper, above), he was electrocuted while trying to sneak into Lollapalooza in 2010, and after listening to his “Innanetape” mixtape, I think it may have given him rapping superpowers.
Betty Who — Synthy, moody, 80s-influenced, girl pop.
Hunter Hunted — L.A. indie rockers who like to enter the stage to “Game of Thrones” music.
Terraplane Sun — L.A. indie rockers who like to add a touch of bluesy folk and psychadelia to their music.
Jessica Hernandez and the Deltas — Trained jazz band meets soulful, self-taught singer, records a rock EP and covers a lot of country during concerts.
Fly Union —Pretty good rappers, amazing beat producers.